“Unhoe Yourself!”: 6 Easy Steps to Becoming a Worthwhile Partner


Words by Jherika G.

Everyone knows that you can’t turn a [w]ho[r]e into a housewife. It’s scientifically impossible. It’s also a task that many, too many, try to complete anyway despite all logic.

Here’s the thing about people: they do what they want to do. Nobody can change them and trying to will only leave everybody hurt and unhappy.

However, there is light at the end of this tunnel. As I said, people do what THEY want to do. So while you cannot make them behave a certain way, they can take it upon themselves to WANT to change and do better. So now, if you are already a reliable and worthwhile partner, you can stop reading here. For those who can’t keep their legs closed or johnson down, please, continue.

Don’t lose hope; you CAN unhoe yourself. And it’s not nearly as hard as you may think.

Steps 1-4: I could break these down, but basically: STOP SLEEPING WITH EVERYBODY.

Step 5: Confidence. You’ve been hoeing for a long time. Is this REALLY who you want to un-hoe yourself for? One of the worst things to do is to really make that change and be a good partner only to realize they don’t appreciate it or give a damn. That’s the easiest way to do a cannonball back into hoedom. The only thing worse than a hoe is a hoe that tried not to be a hoe and got screwed over. Now, you’re hoeing with a vengeance. Yikes. Also, you have to believe that you can do better. If you don’t have faith in yourself, don’t expect your partner to.

Step 6: Sincerity. This is by far the most important of all the steps. You can easily stop humping everybody physically yet mentally be a hoe. For some reason people are under the impression that because you’re just “talking,” it’s not cheating. Just like with any other life-changing task, your mentality is everything. You may not dip out the house on your partner but you’re getting naked pics, and talking dirty to random people. In fact, if you fulfill any one of this criteria then you are cheating, in my eyes:

Do you feel the need to keep your actions a secret?

Would you be upset if you found out your partner was doing the same thing?

Is this something that you KNOW would hurt them or they are strongly against?

The reason sincerity is so important is because YOU have to want to unhoe yourself for YOURSELF. While your partner may motivate you to do this, if you’re doing it just for them, refer back to Step 5. It’s true, you cannot turn a hoe into a housewife. Just like you can’t turn a mama’s boy into a dude with a backbone and you can’t turn a deadbeat dad into father of the year. These are things people have to WANT to do. And it’s totally possible. Usually when people are pulling themselves from Aintshitville, they have a better understanding of what it takes to make it work and have gotten that aintshitness out their system. They’ve seen what it’s like out there and don’t want to go back.

It’s easy to love a hoe. But sometimes you gotta chill….sit back…and let them unhoe themselves.

photo courtesy of newgrounds.com

Words by Jherika G.

7 comments on ““Unhoe Yourself!”: 6 Easy Steps to Becoming a Worthwhile Partner

  1. As a former ho, im gonna pass this off to others so they can make the life transformation that I have made.


  2. Tony Grands says:

    I have 3 kids. 2 are twins. But they look TOTALLY different from one another. Just to illustrate my “aintHOEness,” I introduce them as twins, so mofoze don’t think I’m ouchea stairstepping children with random chicks.

    Wearing a wedding band helps, too…


  3. markdub7 says:

    I gotta homie who is the biggest ho I know. He’s literally bedded 1000+ women, and has little more than 7 child support cases & list of STDs that reads like a laundry list. It just ain’t worth it.


  4. JR says:

    Great advice here. Also made me look in the mirror.


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